Open Letter :: Motherhood battle scars VS the world

Picture it: You're at the beach with your family. It's hot, but the breeze and water make it manageable. You see people having fun, enjoying it. People of different sizes. Then there's a mom. In a two piece. A good size without looking like a stick, but a little meat to look healthy.

Now comes the comments... you hear others making remarks about the mom you see in the piece; "Her stomach is ugly", "how can she be showing her body in front of everyone?", "that's so disgusting!"

You hear them, and think to yourself, "her's is NOTHING compared to mine! I wish mine looked that good." And you suddenly start feeling low about your body. Thankfully you are wearing clothes to cover up most of you so you won't be talked about that way.

But you know what? There's nothing wrong with her, and there's nothing wrong with you! I've seen big women in bathing suits and thought they were beautiful. I admit, I'm hard on myself. I am one of those women who are afraid to show some skin... especially, the tummy area (with my thousands of stretch marks and kangaroo pouch - thanks to 3 big boys at birth). I wish I wasn't. I'm still learning how to love my body, because without it, I wouldn't have 3 amazing boys!

I read something the other day talking about that we shouldn't care what others think of our looks/personality/whatever, because in the end, this is the only life we have. When we die, we won't be thinking about those who hurt us. We won't be thinking about anything. So we won't feel any regret or guilt. Why do we allow ourselves to suffer now, then? The world tries to force us into certain ways/looks, but they don't matter. What matters is that YOU love yourself the way you are. It's a plus when the hubby still loves you the way you are, too.

I'm really working hard on trying to be less hard on myself, and love my body. Especially, to set a good example for my kids. My oldest son tells me all the time, "you're prettiful, Mommy!" At first, I just kinda shrugged it off. Then I realized, he really does think I am "prettiful." Just like, I still think my mom is beautiful, even if she doesn't think so.

So who cares what others think... as long as you're happy, it doesn't matter what they say. Deep down, they're most likely just jealous. Live life. Enjoy it. Be happy. It's your only one.  

(I think this is more of an open letter to encourage myself...)

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Wow, it's been awhile!

First off, I had my baby boy! 

Christopher Ray

09/26/11 at 11:18 AM

8 lbs. 5 oz. - 18 1/4 in.

This was just the other day.

All is doing good. He looks just like his big brother, and Joey loves him!

Anyways... I'm going to try getting back into this now. I'm also going to start doing some crafts like I've been wanting to start up again for awhile. I'm also planning to get back into trying new recipes again. So hopefully I'll have things to update about so this blog can keep going.

So, with that said, I'll end this post and be back tomorrow!

Sorry!

My apologizes for not blogging in awhile. Things have been... hard. This pregnancy has been going ok other than lots of pain. My doctor was worried about preterm labor, but some tests say we're in the clear for now, thank goodness. I'll be so glad when this is over and my boy is here. I'm not allowed to do hardly anything. So I mostly sit around and when Joey naps, I try to nap. It's been rough, but I think we'll be ok.

I'll try to get back into the swing of things soon.

Many apologizes!

Forgive me for not updating lately. I don't think anyone reads this enough to miss it anyways, haha. It's been a rough few weeks, some which I will not go into. The baby bump gives me some trouble now and then. Heartburn is constant now, the cramps come and go, and I'm pretty sure I've been having some strong braxton hicks contractions. I never had them with Joey, so it's new to me.

I've been taking Joey to Toddler Time at the library. First time, he slept through it... Second time, he was very social! He's usually very shy, but loved being around so many kids. I'm hoping it helps open him up more.

Tomorrow is the big day! We will find out if baby #2 is a boy or girl! I'm hoping a girl. It would complete our family, plus I want to get my tubes tied and call it quits. My mom feels it's a girl. She was right about Joey being a boy, being born on June 27, and being over 9 pounds. So I'm hoping her gut is right this time too, haha. Plus, with Joey, I did everything the same as my mom when she was pregnant with her first; my brother. And now this one is being the same so far time wise. I'm the second child, and 2 years and 3 months younger than my brother. This baby, will be 2 years and 3 months younger than Joey. It just seems too weird. So if it's a boy, that'll be the one thing that throws the weirdness off track.

I'll try to get back into the swing of updating. I've been trying to find more people to meet but hardly no one responds to me. I don't know how others do it. I guess I have social problems online just as I do offline, lol.

Hoping for good weather!

Until LiveJournal is up and at normal speed again, you get an update here.

Been feeling the baby now and then. Sergio says he can feel it softly when she/he is moving. Don't know if he really is or not, but I won't take that from him, haha. I feel so tired all the time. Joey keeps me hopping. He's been my walking buddy.

Tomorrow is supposed to be a beautiful day out, and I hope it stays that way because we're taking Joey to the Houston Zoo. Every first Tuesday of the month is a free day, so we try to go. And since it's free, why not? I can't wait to go. I need to be sure to charge the camera and clear any pictures off.

I found a layout for this. I like it. I would prefer something custom made just for me, which I could make the graphics myself but unsure where to get a good coding for that. So until then, this will do. I need to make some sidebar stuff for the 'family' part.

I need to try looking for more recipes to try. I've been looking on Baby Center to find them, since I'm trying to find "kid friendly" recipes. Found one for spinach and cheese stuffed chicken. Oh man, so good!! Planning to make it for lunch tomorrow since the free time at the zoo starts at 2 PM.

Give me some ideas of things to post about! I think I'll post the recipe I was talking about.

Out with the old, in with the new!

I deleted all my older entries. I want to use this blog for something different, unlike my personal one over at LiveJournal.com. But I don't know what to use it for. Something will come to me.